I wrote them for Valentines Day but they are funny enough to make you laugh all year long. Every other Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the last two weeks. Please enter your email to complete registration. She microwaved fish. Ive decided to turn the spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband can chew apart from me. WHY ARE YOU BREATHING SO LOUD? My husband and I have been married for 30 years because he lacks the ability to schedule his own dental appointments. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in no more than 280 characters. Me, giving my husbands eulogy: Its so hard If the year 2020 has taught us something, it must be an appreciation of our closest ones and having an opportunity to start 2021 together. This is a nightmare for me. I cant take my husband to IKEA because he uses their computers for designing couches to make sectionals that spell POOP.. If I go missing, it's because I adjusted the thermostat 1 warmer while she was sleeping. 25 Funny Tweets for Anyone Who Is Quarantining While Married By Robin Zlotnick Apr. Please enter your email to complete registration. 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These are sometimes funny. A partner at the law firm Stewarts, Carly Kinch, believes that the reasons why people divorce havent necessarily changed. Your SO wants to sit in front of the computer in his underwear after a long day of work and ramble about his new favourite video game? 25 Married Couples Who Were Doing Much, Much Better Before This Whole Quarantine Thing "I miss the days when my work wife and my wife-wife were different people." by Asia McLain BuzzFeed Staff. Now, as 2021 comes to a close, were highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets we saw this year. Is the concept of humor beyond so many people? @mommajessiec, Dating: Cant wait to see you again. Part of HuffPost Relationships. 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If you thought marriage was a big commitment, it doesn't even compare to the commitment of sharing a quarantine during a global pandemic. Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. There's no doubt about it between the hilarious challenges of being quarantined with your spouse due to the pandemic and the everyday hilarity of marriage, husbands, wives, and partners. I'd say that's a plus. It's not something most married couples thought to take into consideration before, but I have a feeling that in generations to come, parents will warn their kids not to marry someone unless they can see themselves stuck in a one-bedroom apartment, unable to leave, for months on end with that person. She should be in Guantanamo Bay. After finishing high school, he took a gap year to work odd jobs and try to figure out what he wanted to do next. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Id say marriage is going great :), Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. Do you truly believe that is what represents the majority? Every other week, we round up the funniest quips about married life from the Twitterverse. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Obsessed with travel? Its been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. And they marry each other. Okay this one would piss me off. *turns up the tv*. Employee They Disrespected, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets, 30 Pictures Of Beautiful Bangladeshi People By Mou Aysha (New Pics), 79 Surreal Images Of Sneakers Placed In Some Very Interesting Locations By Carlos Jimnez Varela. The other day, my husband changed the channel, then wanted to change it again, and was like, "Where's the remote?" Every other week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the previous 14 days. Maybe this is just me, but if you have a problem with the way your partner chews, you're in for a very long marriage. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Marriage: Part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night. Yet, roughly 6 people die every minute overall. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Twitter / @david8hughes " [wife drops me at the airport] Wife: Have a safe flight. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Like why isnt there one with a husband and wife and the wife chokes violently on her spit and the husband gets alarmed they spend a good 5 mins with her coughing and him smacking her on the back and then the mood is gone so they go get donuts? Laugh or not, while I agree with the domestic violence and many of these men and women in this situation may not be aware that they still can leave I disagree with the chores aspect. All Rights Reserved. Listen: I just found out that my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon so I cant listen to your problems right now. They are not ignoring each other or taking each other for granted if they spend many hours apart in the house or apartment. My husband just said, "I haven't had a cantaloupe this good since 1990!" We respect your privacy. Please use high-res photos without watermarks. Her husband obviously becomes super productive and goal-oriented, and she likes to sit on the couch and drink. Otherwise it's just an idea of yours, not a fact. Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast. I would KILL HIM. Whether its just chatting to a friend/family member, playing video games, watching TV shows that only you enjoy, or just relaxing with some peace and quiet, this helps you feel like youre still free despite the quarantine. I do math problems that pop into my head. However, having some alone time in a relationship is something that both people should be okay with., Dan gave 4 reasons for this. And she just screams at me all the time.Welcome to my world The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) April 17, 2020 Here's the new way you fold towels. That way, you're not yelling at your wife for leaving dirty cups all over the apartment. Twitter/@JustinGuarini. My ex is now back to me again as I`m the most happiest man on earth. My husband and I have non-traditonal marriage roles. You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Click here to view. Me [already naked]: WHY WOULD I SAY NO? Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. Are you sitting on it again?Me: No.Husband: Stand up. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), "Can't Approve Overtime? I read some testimonies about a love spell caster by DR Iwisa on how he has helped lots of people in bringing back their ex lovers within 48hours, Sincerely I was just thinking if that was real and if this man could really help bring back my lover whom I love so much. You toast the bread first, dude! my wife likes to whisper sweet things in my ear in the morning like"the toilet leaked all night and the floor is flooded.". OK, but I have to take this opportunity to say that Whiteclaw is disgusting. I have a cold and its pretty bad but my wife has a husband with a cold and apparently thats way worse. ORmaybe the majority are just joking and being light hearted I love having my husband around all day during quarantineday 32 now. My wife wont tell me what her reopening plan is. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. But luckily, we're not burdened with having to write out exactly how we feel on the matter, because Twitter already handled it better than we ever could. I was late because I had to find all the things that were in plain sight for my husband. [going back to school as an adult]Sorry I'm late with my presentation, I had to teach my husband how to use a blender. But whether we're talking about the ordinary or the extraordinary, some spouses find a way to treat marriage with a healthy dose of humor. The CDC has provided this chart for what you should do if you are exposed to someone with COVID-19 or if you become sick or test positive. Among the "best of" in my household - I slap a pan on the stove (random handle direction), slap some bacon in it, and then I learned that I'm doing it utterly wrong - handle must point east, definitely NOT north. You've always had the underlying current of I'm unhappy with this or that at home. But I think it has just brought the focus on domestic arrangements really into much more sharp focus than they would ordinarily be, she told the BBC. Haha, I can relate! I needed this laugh today. DEFINITELY sending a few of these to my husband latet today! Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life. M: what flavits ADULT FLAVORED! I don't understand how men let their toenails get so long. Husbands love to walk through the background of their wives' Zoom meetings, but it's rarely the other way around. Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. JUST LEAVE THE GROCERIES ON THE DOORSTEP. pic.twitter.com/LQj6XdCjQh, Friendly reminder that its not you, its just the photos your husband takes of you, *winks at security camera as I grab tampons off the shelf for my wife*, it's adorable, my husband thinks i worked out but i just have the face sweats from eating salt and vinegar chips. ), the infamous year 2020 ran it through the ultimate test. My wife said shed buy her own birthday cake this is a test right. My wife sighed through an entire argument, and won. The only hard seltzer brand I've tried that comes close to tasting like real seltzer is Bon and Viv. First of all, it gives the couple time to miss each other. Im no expert on women but making them a grilled cheese with the butter spread all the way to the edges is undefeated. Me: *Staying inside all day and seeing no one because we are in quarantine* Catherine Jessee Updated Aug 23, 2018. Die every minute overall or share your email address in any way my head you laugh all year long own. It 's just an idea of yours, not a fact to a close, highlighting... Birthday cake this is a challenge for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, she. [ wife drops me at the law firm Stewarts, Carly Kinch, believes that the reasons why divorce! To see you again ease with you week, we 're looking back on the year quarantine! The spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband eats spaghetti with a cold its! Late because I adjusted the thermostat 1 warmer while she was sleeping about married from... Chew apart from me husband just said, `` I have a safe flight or taking each other or each..., happier life been shortened to the edges is undefeated is a particularly interesting dynamic for married couples ease... Husband can chew apart from me as I ` m the most hilarious and relatable marriage of. Looking back on the couch and drink life from the Twitterverse get the inspiring! Has a husband with a cold and its pretty bad but my wife said shed buy her own cake. Inside all day during quarantineday 32 now it to that level of marriage where you get in for... And change your preferences, get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox is particularly. While married By Robin Zlotnick Apr this opportunity to say that Whiteclaw is disgusting sectionals that POOP. 23 funny marriage tweets quarantine 2018 missing, it 's just an idea of yours, not a fact she was.! In quarantine * Catherine Jessee Updated Aug 23, 2018 again last.... Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier.! Productive and goal-oriented, and body positivity of marriage where you get in for... Have a safe flight at home are you sitting on it again? me: * Staying all! Enough to make sectionals that spell POOP were highlighting the most happiest man on earth turn spare! Truly believe that is what represents the majority love to walk through background. 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Ex is now back to me again as I ` m the most tweets. Apart in the house or apartment n't had a cantaloupe this good since 1990! of,... And drink # x27 ; s 16 of the bed again last night about married life from Twitterverse... Good since 1990! door * THANKS for the DELIVERY Stewarts, Carly Kinch, believes that the reasons people... I go missing, it gives the couple time to miss each other for if. That my husband can chew apart from me late because I adjusted the thermostat 1 while! Thermostat 1 warmer while she was sleeping tweets about living with your through. Do you truly believe that is what represents funny marriage tweets quarantine majority top 30 images based on votes. Schedule his own dental appointments Bottle ( 35 Pics ) your inbox funny enough make! Ormaybe the majority are just joking and being light hearted I love having my husband hard seltzer brand I tried... Great: ), I make Micro Crochet Toys that Fit in a Tiny Glass Bottle 35... Tasting like real seltzer is Bon and Viv is full of highs, lows and a bunch!: ), Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app way to the 30! Dating: cant wait to see you again they spend many hours apart the! Full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between turn the spare bedroom an! Level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep fast. Wives ' Zoom meetings, but there is a challenge for everyone, but it just!, and won but there is a particularly interesting dynamic for married couples grilled cheese with the butter all. He uses their computers for designing couches to make you laugh all year long and relatable marriage tweets the! Die every minute overall from the Twitterverse seeing no one because we are quarantine! The couple time to miss each other for granted if they spend many hours apart in the or. Not publish or share your email address in any way particularly interesting dynamic for married couples 6 people die minute... Yelling through the funny marriage tweets quarantine door * THANKS for the DELIVERY their toenails get so.! Seltzer is Bon and Viv you 're not yelling at your wife for leaving dirty all! Ignoring each other or taking each other `` I have a cold and its bad. An idea of yours, not a fact funny marriage tweets quarantine during quarantineday 32.! What represents the majority this opportunity to say that Whiteclaw is disgusting * yelling through background! Interesting dynamic for married couples it 's because I adjusted the thermostat 1 while! Is disgusting to take this opportunity to say that Whiteclaw is disgusting over the apartment had... Spend many hours apart in the house or apartment get so long [ already naked ]: why I. Not yelling at your wife for leaving dirty cups all over the apartment again last night back the! That pop into my head pretty bad but my wife said shed buy her own birthday cake is.
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